17.2 km – 10.7 miles

7:20am to 11:30am walking time

250 meters – 820 feet elevation gain

It was a beautiful day for walking. And the way finally headed back into more interesting scenery. Knowing I had a short day, I left later than normal and also figured I could take my time.

Despite having another day on the Camino where I walked and ate alone yesterday, I had a more positive mindset when taking off today. Probably because of how nice the weather was and that I’d be heading to one of my favorite towns on this Camino.

However shortly into my walk I passed the guy that made me feel really uncomfortable 5-6 nights ago. I had hoped that I would have lost him based off me walking longer distances and/or taking a rest day. So as soon as I saw him (on the side of the trail talking to someone), I picked up my pace so that I could avoid him. This also meant that I wouldn’t have that slow paced day I was hoping for.

I didn’t mention it earlier on, but this guy wasn’t the first bad encounter I’ve had on this Camino. On day four, I had gotten lunch by myself and was at the counter to pay. An older local man was at the bar getting two beers for him and his partner. I did my usual smile and said “hola” and before I knew it, he grabbed my hand and pulled me in to kiss my cheek and then pulled me closer to try to kiss my other cheek – it was obvious he pulled me closer to try to miss and hit my lips. I was horrified and pulled away. The lady at the counter was horrified for me, but I don’t think she knew what to do about one customer being inappropriate with another customer and she knew she couldn’t speak English to ask if I was ok. I finished paying and left. I tried to shrug it off but I know now that the experience, added with what happened with a fellow pilgrim days later, has fully impacted me on this trip.

Any older man that looks at me, I now feel like I need to look away and I worry…will they be the next one to make me feel uncomfortable?

I have always looked at the Camino as a way for me to be or to become the very best version of myself. I think the Camino can bring out the best in everyone. However, with these experiences on this Camino , I cannot do that. I have to stifle who I am and who I want to be. And like today, I have to divert from my plans of enjoying my walk on a beautiful day to rushing away from someone that I don’t want to be around. It’s just not fair.

I’m really trying to keep a positive outlook on this Camino, but it feels like all it’s doing is testing me. I know full well that Caminos will test you, make you work through some things, but this has been nearly non-stop testing between experiences like those and all of the loneliness. I didn’t come here to be tested. I came here to challenge myself physically and try to get into better shape after Covid set me back with my lungs. But the other and most important factor I came here for was for the joy of the connections you make with people along the way. From walking with others that are so different from you – to eating with very mixed groups of people and just to enjoy every minute making new friends and enriching my life.

Yes I have met some amazing people – but day after day, I’m walking alone and eating alone and now after León most of the people I had gotten to know are a day ahead of me. It’s all broken my spirit for the Camino. And my biggest fear is walking into Santiago alone. Every other time I’ve walked in with people I’ve sweat alongside with, been challenged on hills or with bugs, or dealing with less than nice albergues together. I fear I won’t get to walk into Santiago with the people that know the same joy and the sadness of arriving there. For me right now, I’ll just be glad to have this over. 😔

I will keep trying. I will keep walking and earn my Compostela. I will keep saying “Buen Camino” and making conversations happen when I can. I’ll keep trying no matter how broken I feel right now.

Astorga is cute small city with lots of things to explore including a big cathedral and a Gaudi building. I explored the Gaudi building last time, so might opt for the cathedral this time, along with maybe finding some caches in town.

I did get to spend a few minutes talking to one couple from California I’ve gotten to know. That helped switch my attitude to being more positive after the day of walking alone and thinking about all the challenges.

Currently eating a tasty burger in one of the two main plaza areas in the downtown.

I feel bad to continually be sharing the tests this Camino has been putting me through. And I assure you, my experience isn’t the norm on the Camino. I wouldn’t have come back a 5th time if there weren’t something special about it. I’m just hoping that the something special will start appearing for me sometime soon.